Archive | December 2013

Losing Days Over You

man_moon
Still aching for you
from morning till the pale moon,
I’m robbed of the day

and will be again,
staying put in my mind’s eye
but not beside me,

talk to me deeply,
I’m cool to share everything,
my heart at your whim,

you’re effortless charm
has turned me into a fool
wounded by sweetness,

something about you
confiscates all my power,
now I surrender.

– Lennie Bezwik

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Perfect Strokes

sunrise_over_mediterranean_sea
What I wouldn’t give
to have
twenty four seven access
to your smile
your laughter sweet as
spring your conversation
your dreams your love
your fears
in all your
bold yet softly spoken
words,
lucky me
for knowing you,
unlucky me
for loving you,
in luck
when I’m close to you and
feel that something’s there
between us,
out of luck
when I’m away from
you and miss your
every essence,
what I wouldn’t give
to awake with you
over sunrises of the
calm and glittering seas of
southern Europe,
your skin glowing in the
golden rays that gently land
upon your shaded body
through a gap in the blinds,
your eyes opening just
after mine,
you rolling closer
over to me,
my arms taking you,
my lips telling you what
you already know as I
press them honestly onto
the side of you face,
what I wouldn’t give
to spend each day
further penetrating
your mind
and helping you to
stand strong
when you feel you’re gonna
fall weak,
to read more chapters of
the story of your life you
share with me in
random order
but more and more I see
the emerging picture,
perfect strokes of
water-colour like
Van Gogh’s flowers,
you’re unsure
of the many textures on
the canvas
but I’m in love
with all I see,
the woman
you are,
the woman
you were,
the woman
you came to be.

– Lennie Bezwik

Mind On Guard

door ajar
every day that
I see you and
leave with empty
arms and cold
hands and untouched
lips is another day I
miss my chance to
do as my heart is
telling me.
instead I let my
mind stay on guard,
like bouncers at
the nightclub
turning away my
feelings from the
entrance door of
our reality,
protecting me from
luvdrunkennes that
leads to all pleasures and
troubles and sometimes
suffering but somehow
those feelings will
sneak their way in,
perhaps through the
unguarded exit doors
often slightly ajar and
once they’re in it’s
anything goes,
you can love me
or leave me,
we’ll share joy
or misery,
you’ll be frightened
or flattered,
we’ll be happy
together
or estranged from
one another.

– Lennie Bezwik

Night Shift Away From Love

factory love
five minutes til the
night shift begins,
five minutes before I have to
try to switch off the
part of my mind that’s
inhabited by you
and switch on the part that
forces me to pretend and
keeps the cogs turning for
the corporate machine but
for once this distraction is
healthy cos the thought of
you is burning me so
I’m willing to embrace the
man pissing on me to
keep down the flames of the
fire you set in my soul with
all your words and expressions
and perilous beauty.

– Lennie Bezwik

Maybe I’ll Never

lady_and_knight
Maybe I’ll never
have what you want,
my jokes will never
be enough,

I can move you
to laughter each day,
push the clouds aside
as the blue shines through
the grey
and you’ll love me
in a way
that I would never want
from you
but maybe I’ll never
have what you want,

I can give you everything,
the undying love
of someone who actually
enjoys listening,
even those little things
like gently escorting you
by the hand through crowds
and pulling out chairs
for you to sit down and
conversation about those
dead poets who secretly console
us in isolation
through the lonesome nights
we both partake in
on either side of
the abandoned train station
but maybe I’ll never
have what you want

and I’ll only ever dream of
winning you over
and cos I know
it’s a losing game,
I suffer in silence
and swallow the pain
and hide what I feel
when I hear your name,
just a tortured soul
wearing shining armour.

– Lennie Bezwik

Another Poet

isolationo
what am I
other than a
wannabe novelist?
too lazy,
too sensitive,
too desperate
for that,
another poet,
too romantic,
too isolated,
too shy.
another poet,
too quiet,
too secretive,
too drowsy,
can’t remain awake
long enough to
finish a chapter,
have to write
a verse instead,
short
sweet
bitter
emotional
outpourings
of ink from biro
pens staining the
page and it’s over
within a matter of
minutes like casual
sex,
another poet,
not quite the writer,
a supersub,
not quite the striker,
seeking refuge and
finding it in the
shadows,
I’m cats beneath the
weeping willows,
I’m pools of ice in
the moon’s craters,
I’m antique books in
charity shops,
the unknown authors
dead forever,
another poet,
too self-absorbed,
too heavy-hearted,
too pensive,
another poet,
I’ve tried to be
otherwise but it’s
just too hard so I
scribble too much
and focus too little
for too much of the
time
which seems to be
going by too fast
for me.

– Lennie Bezwik

Drowning

-I-m-Drowning-In-Your-Love-phineas-and-isabella-17656105-1500-1300
I could stand within
these crowds
of swarming bodies,
faces smiling
right beside me,
all the friendship,
warmth and company
that one should need
for living comfortably

but I’ll always be drowning
deep within
the boundless ocean of
loneliness
and only you
can save me,
the same sweet lady
who made me fall
from a steady boat
and doesn’t even know
I’m drowning.

– Lennie Bezwik

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