Restraining Myself

streetlight-raining
restraining myself
from calling you,
restraining myself
from wanting you,
love is a fool’s game and
now it’s your move,
restraining myself
from breaking the rules
and making a fool of
myself,
waiting in isolation,
desolation,
desperation,
staring into the empty
beer glass,
it’s raining outside,
the condensation drips
slowly down my side of the
window,
I wipe away the cold steam
on the glass,
a dim streetlight beams onto
the wet concrete curb
outside,
an orange glow on the
grey stone in the
black night,
I try telling myself that
I don’t love you but the
feeling is still there like
the sullen clouds
blanketing the city
being dragged across the
lands by the cold and
raging winds
as I refill the empty glass
with fresh beer from a
steel can that opens with
the sound of a beautiful
thin metallic click and
the seductive hissing of
gas like the sound of
your gentle breath
in pleasure
in submission
as I push my love inside
you,
the glass fills with a pale
and fizzing froth on top
and tiny little bubbles sink
down to the bed of their
sea
and bounce back up to their
heaven
and my dreamy thoughts of
you
escape nothing
as the rooftops all across the
city cannot escape the falling
rain.

– Lennie Bezwik

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About bezwik

Lennie Bezwik is an English poet and lyricist who lives in Spain. Before getting into poetry, Bezwik was part of the London based UK Hip Hop scene, writing songs, producing tracks and performing live rap. Over the last few years, Bezwik has done a lot of travelling, drinking and writing. Nowadays, he sneaks off to dingy little Spanish bars at night and writes poems in his notebook. His biggest inspirations are homelessness, unemployment, booze, love and being dreamy.

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